Nostalgia part 2

Christmas time is a nostalgic time for everyone. Everyone can remember their favourite Christmas present and having children makes it even more special because Christmas really, is all about the children isn't it?
Parents are building memories in their lives and their children's lives. The season of goodwill is also the season of carols, Christmas fairs, the school play, presents and the rituals of tree decoration, craft making and cuddling up to watch those feel good family movies.
The school term is over and the holiday season has started. I have started a big box of craft making things, which is essentially most of the contents of my recycling bin! Empty egg boxes, butter tubs, yoghurt pots, cereal boxes, toilet tubes etc. A pile of old magazines and catalogs, scissors, glue, glitter and scraps of tissue paper completes the kit. The best part of the Christmas holidays is craft making.

Here is just some of their work proudly displayed on their bedroom doors.

Another box I have started is a Memory Box. This is a lidded box in which we collect things that will remind us of things we have done, places we have been to etc. I'm going to get the children to decorate the outside of this box and choose what goes in it. There are pebbles, shells, cinema and theatre tickets and so on. It will be so lovely to go through this when they are adults!

The other night I was up on my own watching pre-recorded shows that I needed to catch up on. I got peckish and found myself rummaging in my store cupboard for dessert and I came up with this: A Brownie and Banana Midnight Feast. The word feast can be interchanged with madness. Only my sister will know about the nostalgia behind our secret midnight feasts. Ice cream layered with sliced banana and mini brownie bites. It could have been improved with crushed digestives and a squeeze of golden syrup or honey but considering it was after midnight I decided there was enough sugar in this to be having before going to bed!

Nostalgia part 1

I read somewhere that parenting is reliving your childhood and I find myself whole heartedly agreeing. Today for instance, after the school drop off, I took K to playgroup, and while walking back home I decided to take him to Wimpy! It has been there for as long as I can remember, and I have walked past it so many times but in the past two hears have only eaten there twice even though it is right up my street.  I remember my mum taking my sister and I there and she would have the beanburger. So in the name of nostalgia, I ordered it too! K, of course had his staple of chicken chunks and chips. We really enjoyed each other's company and it occurred to me that I have never taken him out for a meal on his own, so it felt really special for me to be eating at Wimpy with him, just the two of us. After his tummy was full, I took a walk and he fell asleep in his pushchair.

Yesterday there was strike action by people working in the public sector and R's school was closed for the day. We spent the morning putting up the Christmas tree and it was adorable to see both R and K were jumping with joy! K knew exactly what to do and started putting the baubles on the branches as though he's been doing it for years.

Another thing I read somewhere about parenting young children, is that the hours drag and the years fly. You can tell that I've been reading a lot of parenting books lately. Parenting is a lifetime of challenges. Just when you think you've got a problem sorted, along comes another challenge. Sometimes I do find myself thinking that the years have flown by, at others I remember thinking come on child grow up!

K has been talking non-stop and I have to hold myself back from laughing at his pronunciation of some words. I had to get the camcorder out to record these magical moments.
Here's a couple of examples:

Christmas tree = chemistry
Playgroup = clay poop

Our big achievement this week is that I'm done with nappies, pull ups, training pants, nappy sacks, wipes, changing mats, bed mats and even potties! It feels great not to have to shop for nappies and carry nappies around when we're out! K is fully toilet trained and he surprised me with how quickly he did it!

Comfort cooking

Lately I have become very economical in the kitchen and using every last scrap of leftover food and I am very impressed at how far leftovers can go by being a bit imaginative.
I have always hated wasting food and I must admit that I have overeaten far too many times just to prevent food being thrown away. I'm determined to break this cycle without depriving myself or my family of some favourite comforting foods.

I used the leftovers of a Sunday roast chicken in two dishes. The first was chinese style egg fried rice with shredded chicken and peas, sweetcorn and any other leftover vegetables you have in the fridge. The second was chicken and vegetable soup made with the stock from the chicken.

I had a big amount of lamb mince in the freezer and I used some to make spaghetti bolognese but I didn't need to use all of the mince. I used the leftover lamb mince to make ''arayes'' which is an Arabic appetiser and is literally translated as 'brides' or it could even be 'bridegrooms'.
This is made by mixing the lamb mince with finely chopped onions and parsley and then spread as a filling into flat bread such as pitta bread. The sandwich is grilled and it can also be a meal in itself with some salad and hommous as sides. My children like it with fries.

I used sliced bread in a bread and butter pudding, and while researching the recipe I discovered that the pudding itself was invented purely out of frugality, to reduce waste and make use of stale bread. The recipe uses egg yolks to make the vanilla and nutmeg custard, and I have reserved and frozen the egg whites to use in a meringue recipe another day.

I also used leftover grilled salmon fillets to make salmon fishcakes, made with leftover mashed potato, spring onions (or parsley) and breadcrumbs which can also be made from the leftover bread. Because all the ingredients are already cooked, they can be grilled to make the breadcrumbs crispy, or lightly fried till golden and crunchy.

Fishcakes after cooking....and tasting!!

In my research I also found out that there are actual names for recipes that reduce waste such as ''Econo cooking'' and ''Frugal cooking'' There are communities of people who build up and contribute to these websites that make use of leftovers, making more with less and budget cooking on a non-junk food, non-takeaway diet. Credit crunch cooking, recession recipes, leftover queen, it goes on!

Children Learn What They Live

I have always liked this poster which I see at my local playgroup so I wanted to share it

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn 

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy

If children live with shame, they learn to  feel guilty

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate

If children live with fairness, they learn justice

If children live with security, they learn to have faith

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves

If children live with acceptance and friendship, they learn to find love in the world

Rediscover Peanut Butter

Most of those who know me know that I am a chocolate lover. A cake lover, an all desserts lover. So I have to talk about my latest secret discovery. A had a day off work, the first one in a long time and after we picked R up from school we decided to go to the local shopping centre, the Harlequin.

We went to buy R's long overdue Eid present, which she had chosen herself from the Argos catalogue. It had been out of stock in all the shops for a few weeks and I finally managed to reserve one and we went to collect it. It is the Moonsand BakeShop. The amazing thing about this is that you can shape the sand with your hands and it moulds into any shape you make. Then when you have finished you just crumble it up again.

While we were strolling along, we stopped at a sweet shop aptly named Sweets from Heaven. This little shop is a treasure trove of sweets absolutely filled from floor to ceiling of every kind of sweets you've ever had, imagined and more! I discovered a Twix bar made with peanut butter chocolate. Instead of the caramel, there is peanut butter and the biscuit is chocolate. It cost £2.50 but worth every mouthful! Another treat that caught my eye and made me feel very nostalgic was a jar of Marshmallow Fluff but I resisted buying it. There was also all kinds of treats like Willy Wonka branded bars, and having recently read the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to R, I could really show her the bar of chocolate that Charlie found a golden ticket inside, as well as the everlasting gobstoppers and other sweets that were mentioned in the story!
The next day in Tesco, I couldn't resist buying a jar of peanut butter!

My new cookbook is coming along really well. It's like a recipe scrapbook which I have put together from a stack of recipes that I've torn out of magazines, ingredient packets, notes from television cooks, supermarket suggestions etc. I've been keeping these cuttings for years in a plastic pocket and now I needed to have a way of being able to retrieve a recipe easily.
I have divided it into 2 sections, desserts and non-desserts. Now I see that I need a subdivision of starters and main courses, and further subdivisions of chicken dishes, vegetable dishes, fish dishes etc. I am even going to index it. I love flicking through the pages of my favourite recipes and getting inspiration from my book.

Today I am baking mini muffins with K. It's my first time baking muffins and his first time baking! When R comes home from school she will be icing them and sprinkling them with her sprinkles and cake decorations. They are for the school cake sale tomorrow. Now K is the ultimate copycat. He repeat every word I say and he sounds like Mickey Mouse! And poor R, she puts up with so much of his copycat behaviour I feel so sorry for her!

Indulgence: homemade spa night and cannelloni

Lately, I have been thinking about indulging and spoiling myself, because I worked out that my duties as a mother dominate my mind, my thoughts, all my waking hours and a fair amount of my sleeping hours too, in fact every aspect of my life. I think I probably spend 99% of my time being mummy and very little time being myself, just me. And besides, I'm worth it! *wink with a cheesy smile a la L'Oreal ads*

Don't get me wrong, being a parent is the greatest blessing I've been given, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but once in a while I really love being alone. I love having the TV and the remote control  for a whole night all to myself lying on the sofa under a snuggly blanket and a mug of hot chocolate to watch the art documentaries, geeky historical biographies, and period dramas that no-one wants to watch with me. 

So today, I decided to spoil myself some more. I have wanted to make cannelloni for a long time, and I finally went out to shop for the ingredients. It is so easy to make if you are using the ready made tubes of course, and it can be made with so many fillings, but I went for the classic spinach and ricotta filling, my favourite, with a bechamel sauce. 

I made some variations from the original recipe, for experimentation purposes, and to make the dish unique. First, I added some chopped chestnut mushrooms to the spinach and ricotta filing as I had a packet in my fridge which had to be used, and this made it taste even better, because mushroom, pasta and bechamel go beautifully together. Filling the tubes was fiddly but fun once I got into the flow of it. 

For the bechamel sauce, I used the leftover cheeses in my fridge, including white Cheshire, Caerphilly, Lancashire and Wiltshire, and grated them straight into the pot so I ended up with something like a four English cheese bechamel sauce. I also sprinkled grated parmesan over the top before baking. 

I left out the tomato element from the recipe simply because I just didn't feel like having any tomato in it. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of my finished dish. And it looked so good! 

The indulgence didn't stop there. After my Tesco cannelloni ingredients shopping trip, I couldn't resist popping into Boots to pick up a bath product. This was the first time I noticed that there is a whole section of aisle dedicated to ''Luxury Bathing''! I was familiar with the usual aisles like soap, shampoo, shower gels and bath. I felt like I had made a secret discovery when I found the luxury bathing products! How come I've never noticed this before? I feel like I've missed out and I took my time to choose something, and selected Sanctuary Foaming Bath Soak. So; luxury bath product, check. Scented candles, check. Bath pillow, check. Face mask, check. Soft and fluffy bathrobe, check. Children asleep, check. Husband fed and watching football, check. Soak away in peace, that's pure indulgence to me.

Playdate and magic dream spray

Today R had her first ever playdate with a school friend, and it was my first ever too as a hosting mum!
I have to admit that I was looking forward to it just as much as R! When R woke up this morning she kept asking if it was time for her friend to come yet, and if I could call her mummy to ask her when she was coming. Seeing as she wasn't coming until after lunch, I had to think of something to do for her to pass the time. So we went to the fun day which was being held in the local high street where A works. The children had a turn on a fire engine carousel ride and then on a trampoline. Next we went to the library for some reading.
When the time came and her friend arrived, she was so excited and happy to see her. She didn't know what to start playing, so I offered some guidance and suggested play-doh. This kept them busy for the best part of an hour. They even allowed little K to play with them, and he was so chuffed to be playing alongside the two girls. Next, they decided to play dressing up, and they chose princess dresses along with tiaras, slippers and purses. Adorable! Then I arranged a picnic tray of snacks which they wanted to have under the table along with their teddies and cuddly toys arranged inside their 'tent'. After this, they went back upstairs to R's room and played 'shop' with one of them buying and the other selling. All this time, K was just so happy to be playing alongside them, they never argued once about anything. Throughout the whole 3 hours they were together, there wasn't a peep out of anyone. I was truly amazed! Finally, they sat down to do some colouring before it was time for her friend to go home.

Recently, R has been waking up several times a night and coming to my bedside. She says she has bad dreams and when I take her back to her room, she says she doesn't want to sleep alone. I decided to try something I'd read in Jo Frost Supernanny's books and try a magic spray. This was suggested for keeping monsters away, so I've adapted it to have special spray that makes you not have any bad dreams. Last night it worked, and I'm using it again tonight.

I love you anyway

She wakes me up at 6am on the weekend and robs me of a lie in, while on school days no amount of noise or light wakes her up before 7.30am

He insists on putting his own clothes on, and manages to get both his legs in one of the legs of a pair of trousers each and every time.

Her latest word for everything is 'boring'. Reading is boring, eating breakfast is boring, writing is boring, sleeping is boring.

He is obsessed with cheerios, chocolate and copying his big sister. And not any chocolate bar, it has to be the luxury, expensive chocolate like Lindt.

They both need to go to the toilet, usually for a no.2 right in the middle of having their dinner, or as soon as I start mine.

These are the things that drive me round the bend, but they are also the things that make each of them so unique and special, I can't help it but I love you anyway.

Memories of the un-Autumn half term

It was my birthday Tuesday 11th and to me, my birthday is insignificant. I no longer consider it an occasion to celebrate with parties, cakes and presents although I wouldn't be partial to a fancy, intimate dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant! The day passed as normally as any other day except for the constant pings on my iPhone throughout the day notifying me that a new message had been posted on my Facebook wall. That was the most eventful day on my Facebook wall and those pings were the most eventful occurance of my birthday that's how it should be. It's my childrens' birthdays that are important milestones to me now, not mine! In any case, I received a perfume from my mum (the new Carolina Herrera), a ceramic and wooden Afghan hand crafted trinket box from my brother, two lovely Phase Eight blouses from my sister, and a delivery of a bouquet of flowers and HOB hair salon treatments from my husband. He also brought home a Peppa Pig cake and birthday cards from the children.

Saturday was the first day of R's first half term and she was very certain about what she wanted to do in  her 9 days off. In the morning she made herself a plan to go to Parent's Paradise, a huge soft play centre with vast climbing frames and slides. We spent a good three hours there. Tomorrow she wants to go swimming.

On Sunday, we decided to make a trip into Central London and spend the day there, and seeing as the weather was superb, we took a London bus tour. This included a Thames boat cruise and we made a round trip totalling almost 6 hours. What I love about these touristy excursions are the Cockney Londoners who earn their living as commentators on the buses and boats, and I ended up learning a vast amount of totally useless trivial facts about London and its landmarks and history.

Monday was such a lovely day. A had a day off work and for once we didn't have errands to run or somewhere to go or a list of things to get through. It was actually such a good feeling to have no plans and no agenda or timetable to run to. We spent the morning lazily pottering around at home and A made us a lovely breakfast of eggs and fava beans in the Arabic way. We went for a walk up to the high street for some groceries. Then we took a drive to the best playground in the area, where we spent a couple of hours on all the playground games. The weather was unbelievably warm for the season, this late October weather is more like early May, and we were taking off layer after layer of warm clothes to enjoy the warmth of the sun. We then spent some time climbing a lovely oak tree with low branches making it easy for the children. We lay on the grass, played rough and tumble, had a snack and searched for acorns.
We had lunch at the local shopping mall and I finally got to buy the potato ricer and professional pepper  mill I've wanted for ages! Isn't it silly how the most mundane things get me excited! Another thing that made my day was our stop for lunch. In the display of the food counter was an amazing Polenta and Orange cake and I just had to have it. I ordered it immediately and my generous wedge of a slice arrived dusted with icing sugar and garnished with a fresh mint and an orange sliver. It was perfect and I have to learn how to make it.

Tuesday was another amazing day for weather. We went to the local playground, again without coats, and this time R and K spent a grand total of 5 minutes in the actual playground and then decided to take a hike through the fields and through the woods. We spent a good 45 minutes strolling along with R as the leader, guiding the way for K and I with a long thin fallen branch of a tree. We stopped to investigate their ''discoveries'' such as a plastic bottle, a plastic lid, some footprints, dog poo, fallen leaves, conkers, a log, acorns, a cricket ball and so on. We covered a long distance, and as we were walking further and further on, I kept reminding R that we would also have to walk back to the car. I was worried about K getting tired as I didn't have the buggy. When we got the the entrance of the wood, the ground got muddy and wet, and the flat field became a hill. This is where R started whispering and tiptoeing saying ''sshh we're going to find the Gruffalo'' This made K get frightened and from this point he would only walk if I held his hand. We decided to turn back and head to the car as a dark cloud was starting to make its way towards us. I wonder how long R would have carried on for if I hadn't made the decision at that point. The two park outings totally convince me that the best things in life are free. The fresh air, the colours of the grass and autumn leaves, the imagination of the children in full gear, and the memories made.

Wednesday was my dad's birthday and HE treated me and the children to lunch along with his next door neighbour of over 30 years! We went to my favourite local Italian restaurant and cafe, Fellini's. Here I ordered the lemon sole with saffon sauce and the children had their usual Margarita pizza with black olives and mushrooms. Dad ordered fried whitebait and R loved them, only she refused to eat the ''face'' and would decapitate the head off each one before eating the rest with the tartare dip. She followed her meal with vanilla and pistachio Italian ice cream.

My Parting Gift

This poem was written to me by one of my colleagues Ken, who is wonderful with words and write poems regularly to express his views on work matters. It's a great way of getting his points across in a pleasant way and whenever someone is leaving the team he write them an ode. It meant a great deal  to me when it was given to me on my last day of work back in June along with a bouquet of flowers, shopping vouchers and was taken out for lunch and dinner by my team. Oh man, I really miss work!

DH Pineapple Upsidedown Cake

I was inspired to make this cake after it featured in an episode of Desperate Housewives.

It turned out perfectly and tasted divine! So seventies!!

Here is the recipe

Ingredients for the topping:

50g softened butter
50g light soft brown sugar
7 pineapple rings in syrup, drained and reserve the syrup
Glace cherries (optional, I don't like these so I left them out, they are only for aesthetic presentation purposes)

Ingredients for the cake:

100g softened butter
100g golden caster sugar
100g self-raising flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs

Method:

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C.
For the topping, beat the butter and sugar together until creamy
Spread over the base and a quarter of the way up of a 20cm round cake tin.
Arrange the pineapple rings on top, then place the glace cherries in the centres of the rings

For the cake, place the cake ingredients in a bowl along with 2 tablespoons of the pineapple syrup and using an electric whisk, beat to a soft consistency. Spoon into the tin on top of the pineapple and smooth it out so it is level. Bake for 35 minutes and remove from the over and leave it to stand for 5 minutes in its tin. Finally, turn it out onto the serving plate.

Things about my children that make my heart melt

There are few things in life that give me as much pleasure as my childrens' quirky mannerisms and rituals. They are little bahaviours that would not be significant to anyone else but me, it can be something they do, or try to do, something they say and they make me feel so honoured to be their parent and these moments are so special to witness.
I want to capture as many of these moments that make me smile to myself before I forget them forever.

Here are some that I remember from the past week, but there are so many of these precious moments taking place everyday, it would take hours to mention them all. Besides, some are just much harder to put into words.

K trying to say a new word or sentence and sounding like a passionate Italian!
For example when he wants a yoghurt or piece of cheese from the fridge that he can't reach he screams:
''mammyyyyy! me! deeeesssa wann!'' (meaning: mummy I want this one)

R trying to impress me by showing me how she can get dressed all by herself and putting on EVERYTHING back to front and I don't have the heart to tell her because I don't want to disappoint her.

My little babies when they have fallen asleep on a long car journey, they look absolutely angelic.

K trying to put his own nappy on. It sounds like nothing but so adorable to witness

When K enters the house, he sits himself down on the bottom step, take of his shoes and socks, and places each sock neatly inside a shoe and places them in his shoe cubby.
When R enters the house, she takes of her shoes and socks without using her hands and leaves them all over the hallway.

R singing in the shower. She has given up taking baths and loves to stand under the shower, singing loudly

R copying what I do to her when disciplining her and applying the discipline to K. If he has done something she disapproves of she takes him by the hand and scolds him while taking him to a corner of the room and instructs him to sit for 2 minutes of thinking time. K will remorsefully oblige. After the 2 minutes are over she will allow him to come out of the thinking corner.

Breakfast, UFO and Laksa

During Ramadan, my family and I went to some buffets for Iftar and for Eid we went to more buffets.
The food on offer was a feast to say the least and it was impossible to resist the temptation to try everything in sight, even if only one mouthful of everything. I am talking about 20-30 starters and 10 main courses. Of course, this included dessert, and with the sweet tooth that I have, I was more than happy to reduce the main course to a mere morsel in order to be able to eat more desserts.
The buffets we went to included the Emirates Palace, the Shuja Yacht, the Park Rotana, Fanar at the Royal Meridien, the Hilton AD, Intercontinental Festival City and the Grand Millennium Dubai. It was way too difficult to hold back from the amazing food and desserts so I just didn't.
So now I have to face the consequences of the excesses. I decided to start a new eating plan and I've even given it a name; the UFO plan. Use Fresh Organic produce only. This means no more ready meals and no processed food. I am going to use only fresh fruits and vegetables to prepare food from scratch. While I'm at it, I'm going to use organic produce whenever possible.
My husband decided that he wanted to join in this and I am thrilled to have a food partner who's going to eat the same as me so I have to prepare only 2 meals instead of 3. One meal for the children and another for us two. He got really into the healthy eating and has been displaying some bizarre behaviour. He decided to switch from sugar to sweetener. He decided to start eating breakfast! This is a big deal because I have been trying to convince him that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a decade. For him, breakfast is a cup of coffee with three sugars and a cigarette. He downloaded an app on his iPhone that gives healthy eating tips and since reading that breakfast is important he has been asking for a boiled egg, wholemeal bread and no butter. It's like a different person but I like! I am holding my tongue back from saying ''I told you so!'' but it's all good.
I've been back almost a week and I've finally got everything in order. All 6 suitcases have finally been unpacked and everything put away in its place. The fridge is full of colourful fruit and vegetables and R's uniform has been tried on and name labelled ready for her first day. I love pottering around the house and rearranging things to make it work better. The day before yesterday, I had a toy clear out to get rid of the toys R and K have outgrown and to make room for all the new toys that they got for their birthdays. Yesterday, I rearranged the contents of all 5 of my kitchen cupboards and pantry to dispose of expired food and to make prime space for my new Moulinex 3 in 1 food mixer, juicer and spice grinder.
I have a notebook that I use to jot down recipes that I see on television. I much prefer TV cooks to chefs because cooks make relatively simple things that can be replicated at home whilst chefs tend to be very extravagant with their methods, employ the most sophisticated applicances and use a vast number of pots, pans, cooking hobs and ovens. They are still fantastic to watch though. My favourite TV cooks are Rachel Allen, Nigel Slater, Delia Smith, Simon Hopkinson, Nigella Lawson, Lorraine Pascal, Rick Stein and Keith Floyd.
Yesterday, I jotted down a recipe for Thai Laksa and I couldn't wait to try it because it would involve me using my new kitchen gadget. I dashed to the supermarket at the earliest opportunity to buy the special ingredients it needs; nam pla, rice noodles, bean sprouts, limes and one of my favourite ingredients, coconut. In Abu Dhabi, I saw so many different forms of coconut as an ingredient such as coconut paste, coconut oil, grated coconut, coconut water and so on. This recipe uses coconut milk and I was excited to find tins of half fat coconut milk which I had never seen before. According to my new appliance instruction manual, the spice grinder is to be used for grinding and blending spices, and it can also be used as a coffee grinder. However, I have decided to use it as a chopper. I've used it for onions, garlic and even for chopping herbs and it's fantastic. With onions, they become pureed which is perfect because R hates onions and if she sees one sliver of onion in her plate, she will reject the whole dish and refuse to eat. With pureed onions she cannot detect it.

The ingredients for the Laksa are:

Fresh Ginger, about a handful when chopped
Garlic, about 6 cloves
Coriander, handful
Chilli (either paste or fresh deseeded red chilli)
Juice of 1 lime
Nam pla (aka Thai fish sauce)
500ml Vegetable or light chicken stock
500ml Coconut milk
Bean sprouts
Sugar snap peas (aka snowpeas)
Rice noodles

Method:

Chop the ginger, garlic, corainder, chilli and put into a food processor. Squeeze in the juice of 1 lime and add a tablespoon of the fish sauce. Blend in the processor until it becomes a smooth mixture.

Heat a wok or saucepan and add a little sesame oil. Cook the mixture for a couple of minutes. Add the vegetable stock and the coconut milk. Bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to a low simmer for 10-15 minutes. Add the sugar snap peas and the beansprouts and simmer for a further 10 minutes until they are cooked but still have the crunch.

Soak the rice noodles in boiling water according to packet instructions, drain and rinse in cold water.

Ladle the soup over the noodles and garnish with fresh corainder. HEAVEN-LY!!!

Parental Guidance

The responsibility of being a parent is so huge it's indescribable. I am completely responsible for the lives of my two children. Their health, their physical and emotional well-being, their safety, their education, their attitude, their perception of themselves, their perception of the world....it goes on and it goes on for their whole lives.

The top 5 things I have learnt so far in my role as a mother:

1. Everything your children say and do is a reflection of you
This has made me want to be a better person. Sometimes I stop and ask myself, exactly who is raising who? My children have made me stop swearing, because I don't want them to repeat it. They made me eat my meals at the table instead of on the sofa in front of the TV. They have made me want to eat healthily so I can set a good example. They have made me want to pray so they can learn about their religion, background and language.

2. Kids will be kids
They will NOT always do what you want them to do and so you should not expect them to.
In a nutshell: You can take a horse to water......you know the rest.

3. They have given me a new sense of wonder at the world
The way the clouds move, an ant on the ground, the shells or pebbles on the beach are subjects of intense fascination. Their attention to detail is amazing. The shape, colour and texture of the moon is discussed at length on a regular basis.

4. Parenting is lifelong learning on the job
As soon as you think you've tackled a problem you've been trying to solve, they've moved on from it and have gone into another phase, giving you another issue to deal with and another problem to solve. Babies cry, then sit then crawl, then walk, then talk, then run, become toddlers, become influenced by their peers, become tweenies, then teenagers, each phase with its own plethora of challenges. Seeing as it takes 18 years to become an adult, this is one long learning curve.

5. Always remember why you had them
The answer is invariably to enjoy them...so do that and don't sweat the small stuff. If you are getting stressed about something your child is doing (or not doing), ask yourself if your behaviour tells your child that you love them. If not, then change it. Treat your child with respect. Ignore the unwanted behaviour, praise the good.

I'm still learning.......

Ignorance IS bliss

In trying to make everyone happy, I end up being the person who upsets everyone. By everyone, I mean  my parents.

In my sometimes crazy and dysfunctional family, I am often seen as the problem. Now as a parent myself, I think I can safely say that it's not my fault, but my own parent's fault at the way I was brought up. My parents are both control freaks. They have OCD and neurotic behaviour. This wasn't a problem for me when I was growing up as child, because as a child, you don't see these things, but these things have certainly affected me as an adult.
However, I also realise that with age, people tend to become less tolerant of others, and I think this is probably what is happening here. I am less tolerant of my parents now than when I was younger, and they are also less tolerant of me as I get older.

In particular, was never taught to make decisions because my parents didn't give me enough guidance.
I was not taught how to deal with difficult situations. I felt safe, comfortable, well fed, well educated and all the physical needs provided for, but the emotional, development was lacking. I ended up feeling shy, inferior, having little confidence in myself to achieve, and on the whole, a massive inconvenience.  None of it intentional, but nonetheless, it has had a great effect in shaping the person I am today. I was brought up with my sister in military style, the problem with this is that we were not soldiers, we were children. And kids will be kids.
When I think back to my childhood, it was a happy place, safe and comfortable and I had everything a child could ever could wish for; toys, games, birthday parties, you name it.
I feel I was not exposed to the real world, I was overprotected. I think this oppressed me and made me want to break free, to escape. This has meant I have made decisions on my own, irrationally, without my parents' advice. Things that are regrettable. I can only hope I don't do the same to my own children but I hope that having this awareness will prevent this.

So the lesson I've learnt from these experiences is that you should ignore things that don't please you or irritate you or annoy you or that you don't agree with. If I challenge things, its me who ends up being in the wrong and no good ever comes out of it. So why do it?

My husband says one of my major faults is that I cannot let things go. Is that supposed to be a bad thing or a good thing? If I see something wrong, I can't let it go and I always have to speak up about it. This then creates an unneccessary commotion and I either upset someone or someone upsets me. The way my family have dealt with things is by saying nothing and doing nothing. Surely burying your head in the sand just for the sake of keeping the peace is wrong? Well even if it is, I am now going to do the same. I just want to keep the peace at the end of the day, month and year. It's got to the point where, even when I am not challenging anything, even when I'm just trying to have a social conversation, even when just trying to make small talk, my parents still think I am stirring up trouble and I either get my head bitten off or I'm walking on eggshells. It really shouldn't be this way.

It has occurred to me that this may be a common problem in families with adult children, particularly with my generation (born in the late 70's) and its parents. Nonetheless, I am determined to make sure that my children are confident and can turn to us as parents without fear. I am keen to make a disctinction between being a parent an being a friend. I acknowledge that parents will never be at the same level as their children, I want to be involved in things, but not everything.
And everything my children say and do are a reflection of me. I have seen it already. I have seen so much of myself in my daughter, and it scares me and makes me beam with pride at the same time!

Coincidentally, while researching the toddler issue of potty training, I came across a website called bratbusters where there is a parenting coach that you can access to help you become a better parent. It made me smile to see that there are people out there who take their parenting role very seriously. But I won't be using their services just yet! I'm still hoping my own parents can guide me when I need it.

Warning: Not for vegetarians

This year I spent Ramadan in the Arab Emirates, something which I have not done for many years since I moved back to the UK in 1995. Ramadan in the Middle East is a very cultural experience as it affects everyone, both muslims and non-muslims. The working day is shortened and the people become nocturnal, the cities restaurants, markets, gyms and shopping malls coming to life at night, after Iftar. There are  Ramadan tents erected for the Iftar meal and remain open till the early hours for shisha pipe, special Ramadan sweets and drinks and snacks.

During Ramadan, my children and I spent the majority of the daytime at home, and I spent time trying out new ingredients and recipes in the kitchen. I got a lot of recipes from a famous Arab TV cook called Manal Al Alam and I used to spend an hour each day watching her cooking a 4 course Iftar meal and jotting down the ingredients and cooking methods. She would make a starter, main course, a Ramadan dessert and a cold fruit or vegetable drink of some sort. I stuck to starters and main courses, as arabic sweets tend to contain a large amount of ghee, buttermilk, sugar, and deep fat frying as well as being very complicated and time consuming to prepare. Maybe in another life.

I also went to an Islamic slaughterhouse to observe the Muslim ritual slaughter of a kid goat. This is the first time I have seen this in my life and it was an eye opening experience considering that the only meat I have seen is in neatly cut pieces in neat packages at the butcher's and I have never seen the actual living animal before becoming Halal meat. 

During the celebration of Eid, Muslims remember and commemorate the trials and triumphs of the prophet Abraham by slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel or goat. The meat from the sacrifice  is mostly given away to others. Some is eaten by immediate family, some given away to relatives and friends, but mostly it is donated to the poor. This act symbolises our willingness to make sacrifices give up things that are of benefit to us in order to help those in need.

The slaughter has to be done with one forward and backward stroke of the knife. The slaughterer must be a sane Muslim and must perform the slaughter in the name of Allah. The throat, windpipe and both jugular veins must be cut, but the spinal cord must not be cut. An animal killed in this way does not suffer if the cut is made quickly and cleanly enough, because the animal loses consciousness before the brain can perceive any pain. This method also causes maximum and rapid blood loss which is safer and healthier. After the blood has been drained, the head is removed and the animal is skinned, this was done so skilfully, it was as if a coat was being removed from the body. Next the animal is gutted, and the internal organs are removed, some of these are also consumed such as the liver and kidneys.
Finally, the animal is ready to be cut into parts as required by the customer. The whole process takes about 20 minutes and is performed in a large sterile warehouse in a production line manner with around a dozen slaughterers working side by side. There was a viewing window for those who wish to watch.
I was impressed with how sterile the whole place was, with dedicated staff to hose the floor, and take away unwanted animal parts such as the skin and guts. The slaughterers' aprons, knives and boots were constantly hosed down, and you would rarely see blood as the flow was pouring out into a drainage system which has been specially built into the floor. It could even be described as clinical, it reminded me of an operating theatre in a hospital. I was actually quite impressed with it all and I can now say I have witnessed what Halal meat actually means.

From sun and sand to rain and clouds....welcome home

Last night, we returned from our 8 week summer holiday, all 8 weeks of which was planned two days before we actually went away. I am a planner, I love to make plans in advance and love to have everything planned out to the hour. In fact, this rarely happens, especially when it comes to family holidays, and I have now adapted and trying to enjoy to making last minute plans. With small children, you should always have a plan, and a back up plan. One of the biggest lessons I learnt about having children is: ALWAYS have a back up plan. Even if you don't have an original plan in the first place, but always, always ALWAYS have a back up plan.
Our flight was great. I actually managed to watch 4 films back to back! With a 4 year old child and a 2 year old toddler this is some achievement! I saw Wrecked (mysterious and with no closure), Something Borrowed (unoriginal and predictable), Midnight in Paris (fantastic) and almost all of Beautiful Boy (not enough depth of characters) The children watched Toy Story, Rio, Barney and Wall-E. With husband.
Arrival was not so great, queues were massive, baggage was very late and the airline lost our buggy.
It was strangely comforting to come home. I am the sort of person whose moods reflect the weather and leaving the hot sun and warm beaches behind and coming home to grey skies and gloomy rain can depress me for weeks. I usually dread the transition from holiday mode to the reality of the daily grind and it can take me up to 2 weeks to reacclimatise. I think the length of the holiday makes the difference. Also the fact that R is due to start Reception next week and we are all excited about it. I am probably more nervous than her, and I can't wait to see her in her uniform, a moment which I anticipate will be a major tearjerker. For me, that is.
By the time we collected the baggage, reported the missing buggy and came home, the children were extremely sleepy and tired with jetlag. But when they came home, a smile of recognition spread across their lips and their faces lit up at rediscovering all their toys, their bedrooms and their favourite things. They wanted to play with everything all at the same time, K opened all his favourite toys and within 5 minutes the living room floor looked as though it had been occupied for days. R got her kick from cutting and sticking bits of coloured paper. Home sweet home.
This morning it was lovely to wake up and have my grocery shopping delivered to my kitchen. Then I had my cleaner arrive and clean my whole house, including the inside of the fridge. The kitchen is back in action.

My Wishlists - in progess

My Places To Go List:  
Italy - everywhere!
Morocco - Casablanca and Marrakesh
Thailand and Malaysia
Ancient civilisation cruise including:
Turkey and Greece
Luxor in Egypt
Petra in Jordan
Cordoba in Spain

My Gravy List:
Diptyique candles
Miller Harris cologne
Kindle 3G
The highest possible thread count bed linen
Kitchenaid food processor
Chanel handbag
Louboutin shoes
Creme de la Mer
A name necklace
Turkish hammam

My Achieve List:
Write a book on parenting
Grow my own fruit and veg
Re-write my cookbook
Become a food critic

A Few of My Favourite Things:
Weddings - any kind of wedding, I love the ceremony of hope and glamour
Fresh flowers
Facials
Crisp white bed linen


Guilty Pleasures:
Listening to my Backstreet Boys, Blue or Bon Jovi CDs when no-one else is around
A sneaky cigarette
Cerelac, unmixed, straight from the tin!

Belated Blogging and the 7 Year Itch

I am currently on an extended holiday of 8 weeks. However, this has meant that I have neglected my blog. I have thought them out in my head but have not managed to get them onto the laptop. And today is the first chance I've had to sit down to transmit some of my ''brain logs'' into ''web logs''. And at the same time, I have just found some drafts blogs which I never published! So I have now published them but they are not chronological! So that's blog learning point number 1; check that the blog is published after it's written. Number 2, I need to learn to learn to remote or mobile blog from my iPhone.
My holiday blog is one that needs a blog of its own in the past tense but at the rate I'm going, that might happen in another life! But I'm determined to keep this one going, so I've made myself a blog goal of 500 words per day and include my holiday in it because there was a fair bit of kids in the kitchen so let's see what happens.
Now that I'm back to the present tense, I will make a point of announcing that today is my 7 year marriage anniversary, and my husband is all alone in England while I am in Abu Dhabi. He has already called me twice today. I laugh that I used to worry about the 7 year milestone, because of the 7 Year Itch. Apparantly the Seven Year Itch is the male urge for infidelity that began after 7 years of marriage. But then I realised that it is completely fictional and was created for the Marilyn Monroe movie of the same name so I have nothing to worry about. Besides, he is coming to join me and the children for our last 10 days of holiday, after 6 weeks apart, combined with celebrating Eid and our anniversary, our daughter's 4th birthday and our son's 2nd birthday, so the anticipation is really exciting!

Ode to Narge

I recently read a very interesting article about the different personas we adopt at work which may be totally different to how we are with our friends or family. It was a very interesting article and I could immediately see how it applied to me.
For example, as a manager of 23 staff, the first word that each one of them would describe me as is calm. Next comes patient, compassionate, diplomatic, helpful, professional and knowledgable.
Would any member of my immediate or extended family use any of these words to describe me? I don't think so!! I imagine I would get these responses; argumentative, forceful, aggressive, indecisive and stubborn. Quite different but very strongly different words are used to describe the same person. Isn't life strange, or is it me?
I started to think into this more deeply...does working make me a better mum, or indeed a better person? I know that work colleagues will only describe their manager using positive words, but I must also point out that family members use negative words. However, two opposing words can be used to describe the same characteristic....stubborn can be seen as determined or persistent, and diplomatic can be seen as being indecisive. So is this a good thing or not?
As for being a working mum I still feel pangs of guilt, yes even after 4 years, but would I have it any other way? I'm counting on the fact that working shows my children the value of money. Hopefully, they will understand that you can't get what you want just like that and they learn to appreciate their possessions more. Time will tell

Scrummy Mummy to Yummy Mummy, and back again

My parents arrived yesterday and the first thing I did was go to get my hair done. I enjoyed reading all of next month's editions of the major magazines and drinking coffee while I had my hair coloured, washed, cut and blow dried. While having my hair washed, I had a massage! And I love the result. I coloured it black all over, cut it to shoulder length and also, I did something I've never done before, I cut a short side fringe. Loving it. Next on my list, manicure, pedicure and waxing.

The relationship between grandparent and grandchild is so amazing to see. It's unique and not like any other relationship. The missing generation (parent of the grandchild and child of the grandparent) doesn't have much use. I am just a regulatory control, I do the regulatory things. Drop off and collect from school, take to toilet, change nappy, wash hands, feed breakfast, change clothes, put to bed, dress, undress, brush teeth, comb hair, I'm the boring worker. Have so much work to do. Sorting the laundry. Making beds. A hundred errands. Post office, buy wrapping paper, sign up for pre-school.

So I prioritised my things to do to myself and got the hair done. Tick off the list. Next, the mani pedi, but never got round to it. I had to go with the husband to choose a shirt and cravat for my brother's engagement party. Hopefully I'll manage to fit them in somewhere. But it seems like so much of another errand this way, another thing to tick off the list of things to do...and yet this is supposed to be ''my time'', something which is just for me to give me pleasure. Instead it's like another ''To do'' item!
It's not fair!

The new letters after my name....SAHM

Yesterday was my last day of work.....ever. I never thought I would do or say something like that. I'd been thinking about it for a couple of months, in fact, it took me a whole month just to bring myself to think about giving up work, let alone mention it. I went through a roller coaster of emotions dealing with this, including pain, tears, guilt and sorrow. I put off telling my team of my decision for two weeks because I felt guilty and I knew they would be devastated.

I love going to work, the challenges of solving problems, the adult interaction, the use of my adult skills and experience, the cups of tea made by my colleagues and the relationship I have with my staff. 

I decided to take a career break to look after my children while they are still young and focus on them wholly, fully and completely. I was really pleasantly surprised at how understanding many of my colleagues were about my decision. ''I am sure you won't regret spending time with your children'', ''You are doing the right thing'', ''I really admire you putting family first and career second'' the bank will always be here when your children grow up, but children are only young once and you should never miss out on it'', ''I'd do the same thing if I were in your shoes'' It was great to hear all those things. And in terms of priorities, family first, career second is definitely true in my book.

I also got some more career focussed comments like ''why don't you apply for the full time position that has just come up? you'll be perfect for it'' and ''why don't you negotiate your pay?'' and these are true too, if I didn't have my children, I would be making a career move and go up the ladder to a higher position of responsibility and remuneration. But that will have to wait till a year or two down the line. Sniff sniff. 

So my last day was very memorable and I had mixed feelings about it all. My team treated me to a feast of a 3 course Arabic lunch which included hommous, mutabal, tabbouleh, fattoush, felafel, halloumi, spinach pastries, cheese pastries, spicy potato cubes, lamb sausages, fresh bread,and salad platter and olives all for starters. Main course was grilled chicken and rice, and finally the sweetest freshest pineapple, watermelon and baklawa for dessert. To help with digestion, we had mint tea. It took us two hours to eat all this food, and we were so full that we went back to the office for the last hour of work feeling satisfactorily comatose and badly in need of a siesta. I was lavished with red roses, two boxes of chocolates, candles and a whole sheet of poetry composed by our very own in house poet. If I was ever in doubt about how my team felt about me, this said it all. Romantic!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow night when it's my leaving dinner, with my whole team.

I decided to take a survey on my values and this was my result....

You are an Open-Minded Achiever

You are someone who craves personal success, putting 100% effort into everything you do. It’s a quality that others are likely to admire and you take pleasure in knowing that your many achievements and accomplishments are respected. You like to challenge yourself to use your abilities and talents to the full and you apply these to reach your career and personal goals. As well as setting high standards for yourself and being keen to go the extra mile, you’re probably less tolerant of underachievement in others.

You enjoy as much variety in life as most people, balancing the need for stimulation with familiarity. You are reasonably willing to tackle new challenges and fairly comfortable with change. Most people probably see you as someone who enjoys excitement and risk-taking in some situations, while being noticeably less daring in other circumstances. You’re unlikely to be seen as a reckless thrill-seeker, but you have your moments when the need for excitement gets the better of you!

In general though, your need for some stability and continuity in your life provides a useful balance to your very high level of ambition. This will prevent you from becoming too restless or easily bored, and will give you the focus and persistence to see things through. Your friends probably consider you to be someone who strives to deliver great things, whilst also affording some time to finding satisfaction from other aspects of your life.

It does sound a lot like my colleagues and manager described me. I'm going to miss it bad. But I just hope I will never regret it. 

So I used to be Nargis AL-Sadiq, SSM, ACIB, BSc (Hons) 

While my other working friends made fun of me for becoming an unemployed chav, I considered whether being retired sounded better, but then got mocked for being a pensioner...so I decided to give myself a new title I am now a full time stay at home mum....Nargis Al-Sadiq SAHM

or FTSAHWTKM (full time stay at home with the kids mum)

How to have a lie in

My husband, A is not a morning person. He is a great dad and husband, but not a morning person. It takes forever to get him out of bed, like a teenager, and then its grumpy time. Most mornings I am up and raring to go, in a good mood and looking forward to the day ahead. But occasionally, I really want a lie in, and fighting for this just wakes me up anyway so I never get one! If I want one, I actually have to plan it in advance and get clearance from A and strict instructions to get up quietly with the children, leave me undisturbed and shut the door.

Today, I woke up and decided to take the sides off my little boy's cot, and turn it into a junior bed, as it is a convertible cotbed. I've always disliked the look of cots, they are just wooden cages after all, and I've been waiting till K became old enough to sleep in a normal bed. I also did this because K has been waking up at 6am and instead of laying there quietly or calling out, he cries. He cries really loud, until someone comes to get him out. I'm hoping with this freedom from the cot he will get up in the morning without crying. The downside to this is that he might be climbing out of bed every two minutes...as R did the same when she graduated from the cot, I think it took about 2 weeks for the novelty to wear off, but it's the price I have to pay for a more aesthetically pleasing room and to be able to stay in bed till 7am without being woken. That might happen in few weeks time, and over the next couple of weeks, I am expecting and prepared to be sitting with K in his room and making sure he stays in his bed until he falls asleep.
It took me a full hour to convert the bed, in spite of my two assistants R & K.  K took ownership of the toolbox and after inspecting each item, his job was to make sure that the entire toolbox contents were scattered all over the bedroom floor and in my way all the time. R wanted to hammer bits of wood but I didn't have the heart to tell them to go away, so I let them 'help'. I got R look after the nuts and bolts and passed them to me when I asked for them, and K handed me whatever tool he thought I needed. When it was finished, it looked so cute. R and K were also extremely proud of their work and jumped into the new bed saying they wanted to sleep in it together. Let's see what happens tonight. I can foresee conflict. I have a strategy in my head for dealing with this and it should work because I can predict my little ones quite easily.

A packet of desiccated coconut

Well I have thought about starting a web log thousands of times, but never thought I would actually get down to it.....well never say never. Let's see how it goes, as I'm completely new to this all. And let's also see how far I get. I think I should commit to writing a weekly blog, rather than ad hoc, because that would mean never!
As the title suggests, my two current "interests" or activities that occupy the majority of my life at the present time, are my two lovely kids, and the cooking that goes on in my kitchen.

In fact, as I type, I have a cake cooling in its tin on the kitchen worktop. It smells heavenly, and I can't wait to try it to see how it has turned out, because I invented it from scratch. Not really, but I took 6 cake recipes and then combined and altered them to my liking. I did this all because of a packet of desiccated coconut which I found in my larder, nearing its expiry date. I love coconut in all kinds of dishes, sweet and savoury, and I became determined to put this packet to good use before it expired. I also had some other ingredients that I wanted to use up, like polenta, and some eggs and milk nearing expiry.
I felt like eating coconut cake, so I googled, desiccated coconut cake and came up with 6 different recipes. Some made with ground almonds, some with semolina and some flour-less cakes.
I liked the idea of flour-less, so I made up my own bespoke cake mix, using my own bespoke measurements and came up with the one now cooling. I must wait till it completely cools, because in my previous experiences, my own impatience, led me to turn out the cake while it was still too hot, causing it to break, collapse or burn my mouth tasting it. But I can't wait any more, I'm going to taste it now while it's still in the tin.
Wow, it tastes as heavenly as it smells. Wow I could eat the whole cake. And it has just dawned on me that I didn't even write down the quantities of the ingredients I used, and I cannot remember them! How am I going to ever repeat this cake? I know I used 3 eggs. I am going to have to resort to fishing the packets out of the bin to see how much the full packet weighed, and then guestimate the quantity used in the cake. Greeeaaat.
But I am so satisfied that this cake is a success. A delicious, heavenly success.

I don't really like the word 'kids', but used it for the purpose of the title of the blog, as ''Children and the Kitchen'' doesn't sound as good. I prefer the word 'children', as it has a sound of innocence to it, whereas 'kids' sounds more unruly. Offspring is the worst though! Or issue! Whatever they are called, they are my world. My little girl, R, is nearly four, but she would correct me if she could read what I've just written, saying she is not a little girl, but just a girl, and she is already four. Her next birthday she insists she will be turning six, and when I question her about the missing age five, she says I'm wrong.
My little boy, K, is nearly 2, and does not have enough vocabulary or sense to think otherwise.
R is now begging me for a slice of cake....and her verdict is ''wonderful''!