During Ramadan, my family and I went to some buffets for Iftar and for Eid we went to more buffets.
The food on offer was a feast to say the least and it was impossible to resist the temptation to try everything in sight, even if only one mouthful of everything. I am talking about 20-30 starters and 10 main courses. Of course, this included dessert, and with the sweet tooth that I have, I was more than happy to reduce the main course to a mere morsel in order to be able to eat more desserts.
The buffets we went to included the Emirates Palace, the Shuja Yacht, the Park Rotana, Fanar at the Royal Meridien, the Hilton AD, Intercontinental Festival City and the Grand Millennium Dubai. It was way too difficult to hold back from the amazing food and desserts so I just didn't.
So now I have to face the consequences of the excesses. I decided to start a new eating plan and I've even given it a name; the UFO plan. Use Fresh Organic produce only. This means no more ready meals and no processed food. I am going to use only fresh fruits and vegetables to prepare food from scratch. While I'm at it, I'm going to use organic produce whenever possible.
My husband decided that he wanted to join in this and I am thrilled to have a food partner who's going to eat the same as me so I have to prepare only 2 meals instead of 3. One meal for the children and another for us two. He got really into the healthy eating and has been displaying some bizarre behaviour. He decided to switch from sugar to sweetener. He decided to start eating breakfast! This is a big deal because I have been trying to convince him that breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a decade. For him, breakfast is a cup of coffee with three sugars and a cigarette. He downloaded an app on his iPhone that gives healthy eating tips and since reading that breakfast is important he has been asking for a boiled egg, wholemeal bread and no butter. It's like a different person but I like! I am holding my tongue back from saying ''I told you so!'' but it's all good.
I've been back almost a week and I've finally got everything in order. All 6 suitcases have finally been unpacked and everything put away in its place. The fridge is full of colourful fruit and vegetables and R's uniform has been tried on and name labelled ready for her first day. I love pottering around the house and rearranging things to make it work better. The day before yesterday, I had a toy clear out to get rid of the toys R and K have outgrown and to make room for all the new toys that they got for their birthdays. Yesterday, I rearranged the contents of all 5 of my kitchen cupboards and pantry to dispose of expired food and to make prime space for my new Moulinex 3 in 1 food mixer, juicer and spice grinder.
I have a notebook that I use to jot down recipes that I see on television. I much prefer TV cooks to chefs because cooks make relatively simple things that can be replicated at home whilst chefs tend to be very extravagant with their methods, employ the most sophisticated applicances and use a vast number of pots, pans, cooking hobs and ovens. They are still fantastic to watch though. My favourite TV cooks are Rachel Allen, Nigel Slater, Delia Smith, Simon Hopkinson, Nigella Lawson, Lorraine Pascal, Rick Stein and Keith Floyd.
Yesterday, I jotted down a recipe for Thai Laksa and I couldn't wait to try it because it would involve me using my new kitchen gadget. I dashed to the supermarket at the earliest opportunity to buy the special ingredients it needs; nam pla, rice noodles, bean sprouts, limes and one of my favourite ingredients, coconut. In Abu Dhabi, I saw so many different forms of coconut as an ingredient such as coconut paste, coconut oil, grated coconut, coconut water and so on. This recipe uses coconut milk and I was excited to find tins of half fat coconut milk which I had never seen before. According to my new appliance instruction manual, the spice grinder is to be used for grinding and blending spices, and it can also be used as a coffee grinder. However, I have decided to use it as a chopper. I've used it for onions, garlic and even for chopping herbs and it's fantastic. With onions, they become pureed which is perfect because R hates onions and if she sees one sliver of onion in her plate, she will reject the whole dish and refuse to eat. With pureed onions she cannot detect it.
The ingredients for the Laksa are:
Fresh Ginger, about a handful when chopped
Garlic, about 6 cloves
Coriander, handful
Chilli (either paste or fresh deseeded red chilli)
Juice of 1 lime
Nam pla (aka Thai fish sauce)
500ml Vegetable or light chicken stock
500ml Coconut milk
Bean sprouts
Sugar snap peas (aka snowpeas)
Rice noodles
Method:
Chop the ginger, garlic, corainder, chilli and put into a food processor. Squeeze in the juice of 1 lime and add a tablespoon of the fish sauce. Blend in the processor until it becomes a smooth mixture.
Heat a wok or saucepan and add a little sesame oil. Cook the mixture for a couple of minutes. Add the vegetable stock and the coconut milk. Bring to the boil and then reduce the heat to a low simmer for 10-15 minutes. Add the sugar snap peas and the beansprouts and simmer for a further 10 minutes until they are cooked but still have the crunch.
Soak the rice noodles in boiling water according to packet instructions, drain and rinse in cold water.
Ladle the soup over the noodles and garnish with fresh corainder. HEAVEN-LY!!!
Monday, 19 September 2011
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Parental Guidance
The responsibility of being a parent is so huge it's indescribable. I am completely responsible for the lives of my two children. Their health, their physical and emotional well-being, their safety, their education, their attitude, their perception of themselves, their perception of the world....it goes on and it goes on for their whole lives.
The top 5 things I have learnt so far in my role as a mother:
1. Everything your children say and do is a reflection of you
This has made me want to be a better person. Sometimes I stop and ask myself, exactly who is raising who? My children have made me stop swearing, because I don't want them to repeat it. They made me eat my meals at the table instead of on the sofa in front of the TV. They have made me want to eat healthily so I can set a good example. They have made me want to pray so they can learn about their religion, background and language.
2. Kids will be kids
They will NOT always do what you want them to do and so you should not expect them to.
In a nutshell: You can take a horse to water......you know the rest.
3. They have given me a new sense of wonder at the world
The way the clouds move, an ant on the ground, the shells or pebbles on the beach are subjects of intense fascination. Their attention to detail is amazing. The shape, colour and texture of the moon is discussed at length on a regular basis.
4. Parenting is lifelong learning on the job
As soon as you think you've tackled a problem you've been trying to solve, they've moved on from it and have gone into another phase, giving you another issue to deal with and another problem to solve. Babies cry, then sit then crawl, then walk, then talk, then run, become toddlers, become influenced by their peers, become tweenies, then teenagers, each phase with its own plethora of challenges. Seeing as it takes 18 years to become an adult, this is one long learning curve.
5. Always remember why you had them
The answer is invariably to enjoy them...so do that and don't sweat the small stuff. If you are getting stressed about something your child is doing (or not doing), ask yourself if your behaviour tells your child that you love them. If not, then change it. Treat your child with respect. Ignore the unwanted behaviour, praise the good.
I'm still learning.......
The top 5 things I have learnt so far in my role as a mother:
1. Everything your children say and do is a reflection of you
This has made me want to be a better person. Sometimes I stop and ask myself, exactly who is raising who? My children have made me stop swearing, because I don't want them to repeat it. They made me eat my meals at the table instead of on the sofa in front of the TV. They have made me want to eat healthily so I can set a good example. They have made me want to pray so they can learn about their religion, background and language.
2. Kids will be kids
They will NOT always do what you want them to do and so you should not expect them to.
In a nutshell: You can take a horse to water......you know the rest.
3. They have given me a new sense of wonder at the world
The way the clouds move, an ant on the ground, the shells or pebbles on the beach are subjects of intense fascination. Their attention to detail is amazing. The shape, colour and texture of the moon is discussed at length on a regular basis.
4. Parenting is lifelong learning on the job
As soon as you think you've tackled a problem you've been trying to solve, they've moved on from it and have gone into another phase, giving you another issue to deal with and another problem to solve. Babies cry, then sit then crawl, then walk, then talk, then run, become toddlers, become influenced by their peers, become tweenies, then teenagers, each phase with its own plethora of challenges. Seeing as it takes 18 years to become an adult, this is one long learning curve.
5. Always remember why you had them
The answer is invariably to enjoy them...so do that and don't sweat the small stuff. If you are getting stressed about something your child is doing (or not doing), ask yourself if your behaviour tells your child that you love them. If not, then change it. Treat your child with respect. Ignore the unwanted behaviour, praise the good.
I'm still learning.......
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Ignorance IS bliss
In trying to make everyone happy, I end up being the person who upsets everyone. By everyone, I mean my parents.
In my sometimes crazy and dysfunctional family, I am often seen as the problem. Now as a parent myself, I think I can safely say that it's not my fault, but my own parent's fault at the way I was brought up. My parents are both control freaks. They have OCD and neurotic behaviour. This wasn't a problem for me when I was growing up as child, because as a child, you don't see these things, but these things have certainly affected me as an adult.
However, I also realise that with age, people tend to become less tolerant of others, and I think this is probably what is happening here. I am less tolerant of my parents now than when I was younger, and they are also less tolerant of me as I get older.
In particular, was never taught to make decisions because my parents didn't give me enough guidance.
I was not taught how to deal with difficult situations. I felt safe, comfortable, well fed, well educated and all the physical needs provided for, but the emotional, development was lacking. I ended up feeling shy, inferior, having little confidence in myself to achieve, and on the whole, a massive inconvenience. None of it intentional, but nonetheless, it has had a great effect in shaping the person I am today. I was brought up with my sister in military style, the problem with this is that we were not soldiers, we were children. And kids will be kids.
When I think back to my childhood, it was a happy place, safe and comfortable and I had everything a child could ever could wish for; toys, games, birthday parties, you name it.
I feel I was not exposed to the real world, I was overprotected. I think this oppressed me and made me want to break free, to escape. This has meant I have made decisions on my own, irrationally, without my parents' advice. Things that are regrettable. I can only hope I don't do the same to my own children but I hope that having this awareness will prevent this.
So the lesson I've learnt from these experiences is that you should ignore things that don't please you or irritate you or annoy you or that you don't agree with. If I challenge things, its me who ends up being in the wrong and no good ever comes out of it. So why do it?
My husband says one of my major faults is that I cannot let things go. Is that supposed to be a bad thing or a good thing? If I see something wrong, I can't let it go and I always have to speak up about it. This then creates an unneccessary commotion and I either upset someone or someone upsets me. The way my family have dealt with things is by saying nothing and doing nothing. Surely burying your head in the sand just for the sake of keeping the peace is wrong? Well even if it is, I am now going to do the same. I just want to keep the peace at the end of the day, month and year. It's got to the point where, even when I am not challenging anything, even when I'm just trying to have a social conversation, even when just trying to make small talk, my parents still think I am stirring up trouble and I either get my head bitten off or I'm walking on eggshells. It really shouldn't be this way.
It has occurred to me that this may be a common problem in families with adult children, particularly with my generation (born in the late 70's) and its parents. Nonetheless, I am determined to make sure that my children are confident and can turn to us as parents without fear. I am keen to make a disctinction between being a parent an being a friend. I acknowledge that parents will never be at the same level as their children, I want to be involved in things, but not everything.
And everything my children say and do are a reflection of me. I have seen it already. I have seen so much of myself in my daughter, and it scares me and makes me beam with pride at the same time!
Coincidentally, while researching the toddler issue of potty training, I came across a website called bratbusters where there is a parenting coach that you can access to help you become a better parent. It made me smile to see that there are people out there who take their parenting role very seriously. But I won't be using their services just yet! I'm still hoping my own parents can guide me when I need it.
In my sometimes crazy and dysfunctional family, I am often seen as the problem. Now as a parent myself, I think I can safely say that it's not my fault, but my own parent's fault at the way I was brought up. My parents are both control freaks. They have OCD and neurotic behaviour. This wasn't a problem for me when I was growing up as child, because as a child, you don't see these things, but these things have certainly affected me as an adult.
However, I also realise that with age, people tend to become less tolerant of others, and I think this is probably what is happening here. I am less tolerant of my parents now than when I was younger, and they are also less tolerant of me as I get older.
In particular, was never taught to make decisions because my parents didn't give me enough guidance.
I was not taught how to deal with difficult situations. I felt safe, comfortable, well fed, well educated and all the physical needs provided for, but the emotional, development was lacking. I ended up feeling shy, inferior, having little confidence in myself to achieve, and on the whole, a massive inconvenience. None of it intentional, but nonetheless, it has had a great effect in shaping the person I am today. I was brought up with my sister in military style, the problem with this is that we were not soldiers, we were children. And kids will be kids.
When I think back to my childhood, it was a happy place, safe and comfortable and I had everything a child could ever could wish for; toys, games, birthday parties, you name it.
I feel I was not exposed to the real world, I was overprotected. I think this oppressed me and made me want to break free, to escape. This has meant I have made decisions on my own, irrationally, without my parents' advice. Things that are regrettable. I can only hope I don't do the same to my own children but I hope that having this awareness will prevent this.
So the lesson I've learnt from these experiences is that you should ignore things that don't please you or irritate you or annoy you or that you don't agree with. If I challenge things, its me who ends up being in the wrong and no good ever comes out of it. So why do it?
My husband says one of my major faults is that I cannot let things go. Is that supposed to be a bad thing or a good thing? If I see something wrong, I can't let it go and I always have to speak up about it. This then creates an unneccessary commotion and I either upset someone or someone upsets me. The way my family have dealt with things is by saying nothing and doing nothing. Surely burying your head in the sand just for the sake of keeping the peace is wrong? Well even if it is, I am now going to do the same. I just want to keep the peace at the end of the day, month and year. It's got to the point where, even when I am not challenging anything, even when I'm just trying to have a social conversation, even when just trying to make small talk, my parents still think I am stirring up trouble and I either get my head bitten off or I'm walking on eggshells. It really shouldn't be this way.
It has occurred to me that this may be a common problem in families with adult children, particularly with my generation (born in the late 70's) and its parents. Nonetheless, I am determined to make sure that my children are confident and can turn to us as parents without fear. I am keen to make a disctinction between being a parent an being a friend. I acknowledge that parents will never be at the same level as their children, I want to be involved in things, but not everything.
And everything my children say and do are a reflection of me. I have seen it already. I have seen so much of myself in my daughter, and it scares me and makes me beam with pride at the same time!
Coincidentally, while researching the toddler issue of potty training, I came across a website called bratbusters where there is a parenting coach that you can access to help you become a better parent. It made me smile to see that there are people out there who take their parenting role very seriously. But I won't be using their services just yet! I'm still hoping my own parents can guide me when I need it.
Warning: Not for vegetarians
This year I spent Ramadan in the Arab Emirates, something which I have not done for many years since I moved back to the UK in 1995. Ramadan in the Middle East is a very cultural experience as it affects everyone, both muslims and non-muslims. The working day is shortened and the people become nocturnal, the cities restaurants, markets, gyms and shopping malls coming to life at night, after Iftar. There are Ramadan tents erected for the Iftar meal and remain open till the early hours for shisha pipe, special Ramadan sweets and drinks and snacks.
During Ramadan, my children and I spent the majority of the daytime at home, and I spent time trying out new ingredients and recipes in the kitchen. I got a lot of recipes from a famous Arab TV cook called Manal Al Alam and I used to spend an hour each day watching her cooking a 4 course Iftar meal and jotting down the ingredients and cooking methods. She would make a starter, main course, a Ramadan dessert and a cold fruit or vegetable drink of some sort. I stuck to starters and main courses, as arabic sweets tend to contain a large amount of ghee, buttermilk, sugar, and deep fat frying as well as being very complicated and time consuming to prepare. Maybe in another life.
The slaughter has to be done with one forward and backward stroke of the knife. The slaughterer must be a sane Muslim and must perform the slaughter in the name of Allah. The throat, windpipe and both jugular veins must be cut, but the spinal cord must not be cut. An animal killed in this way does not suffer if the cut is made quickly and cleanly enough, because the animal loses consciousness before the brain can perceive any pain. This method also causes maximum and rapid blood loss which is safer and healthier. After the blood has been drained, the head is removed and the animal is skinned, this was done so skilfully, it was as if a coat was being removed from the body. Next the animal is gutted, and the internal organs are removed, some of these are also consumed such as the liver and kidneys.
Finally, the animal is ready to be cut into parts as required by the customer. The whole process takes about 20 minutes and is performed in a large sterile warehouse in a production line manner with around a dozen slaughterers working side by side. There was a viewing window for those who wish to watch.
I was impressed with how sterile the whole place was, with dedicated staff to hose the floor, and take away unwanted animal parts such as the skin and guts. The slaughterers' aprons, knives and boots were constantly hosed down, and you would rarely see blood as the flow was pouring out into a drainage system which has been specially built into the floor. It could even be described as clinical, it reminded me of an operating theatre in a hospital. I was actually quite impressed with it all and I can now say I have witnessed what Halal meat actually means.
During Ramadan, my children and I spent the majority of the daytime at home, and I spent time trying out new ingredients and recipes in the kitchen. I got a lot of recipes from a famous Arab TV cook called Manal Al Alam and I used to spend an hour each day watching her cooking a 4 course Iftar meal and jotting down the ingredients and cooking methods. She would make a starter, main course, a Ramadan dessert and a cold fruit or vegetable drink of some sort. I stuck to starters and main courses, as arabic sweets tend to contain a large amount of ghee, buttermilk, sugar, and deep fat frying as well as being very complicated and time consuming to prepare. Maybe in another life.
I also went to an Islamic slaughterhouse to observe the Muslim ritual slaughter of a kid goat. This is the first time I have seen this in my life and it was an eye opening experience considering that the only meat I have seen is in neatly cut pieces in neat packages at the butcher's and I have never seen the actual living animal before becoming Halal meat.
During the celebration of Eid, Muslims remember and commemorate the trials and triumphs of the prophet Abraham by slaughtering an animal such as a sheep, camel or goat. The meat from the sacrifice is mostly given away to others. Some is eaten by immediate family, some given away to relatives and friends, but mostly it is donated to the poor. This act symbolises our willingness to make sacrifices give up things that are of benefit to us in order to help those in need.
The slaughter has to be done with one forward and backward stroke of the knife. The slaughterer must be a sane Muslim and must perform the slaughter in the name of Allah. The throat, windpipe and both jugular veins must be cut, but the spinal cord must not be cut. An animal killed in this way does not suffer if the cut is made quickly and cleanly enough, because the animal loses consciousness before the brain can perceive any pain. This method also causes maximum and rapid blood loss which is safer and healthier. After the blood has been drained, the head is removed and the animal is skinned, this was done so skilfully, it was as if a coat was being removed from the body. Next the animal is gutted, and the internal organs are removed, some of these are also consumed such as the liver and kidneys.
Finally, the animal is ready to be cut into parts as required by the customer. The whole process takes about 20 minutes and is performed in a large sterile warehouse in a production line manner with around a dozen slaughterers working side by side. There was a viewing window for those who wish to watch.
I was impressed with how sterile the whole place was, with dedicated staff to hose the floor, and take away unwanted animal parts such as the skin and guts. The slaughterers' aprons, knives and boots were constantly hosed down, and you would rarely see blood as the flow was pouring out into a drainage system which has been specially built into the floor. It could even be described as clinical, it reminded me of an operating theatre in a hospital. I was actually quite impressed with it all and I can now say I have witnessed what Halal meat actually means.
Monday, 12 September 2011
From sun and sand to rain and clouds....welcome home
Last night, we returned from our 8 week summer holiday, all 8 weeks of which was planned two days before we actually went away. I am a planner, I love to make plans in advance and love to have everything planned out to the hour. In fact, this rarely happens, especially when it comes to family holidays, and I have now adapted and trying to enjoy to making last minute plans. With small children, you should always have a plan, and a back up plan. One of the biggest lessons I learnt about having children is: ALWAYS have a back up plan. Even if you don't have an original plan in the first place, but always, always ALWAYS have a back up plan.
Our flight was great. I actually managed to watch 4 films back to back! With a 4 year old child and a 2 year old toddler this is some achievement! I saw Wrecked (mysterious and with no closure), Something Borrowed (unoriginal and predictable), Midnight in Paris (fantastic) and almost all of Beautiful Boy (not enough depth of characters) The children watched Toy Story, Rio, Barney and Wall-E. With husband.
Arrival was not so great, queues were massive, baggage was very late and the airline lost our buggy.
It was strangely comforting to come home. I am the sort of person whose moods reflect the weather and leaving the hot sun and warm beaches behind and coming home to grey skies and gloomy rain can depress me for weeks. I usually dread the transition from holiday mode to the reality of the daily grind and it can take me up to 2 weeks to reacclimatise. I think the length of the holiday makes the difference. Also the fact that R is due to start Reception next week and we are all excited about it. I am probably more nervous than her, and I can't wait to see her in her uniform, a moment which I anticipate will be a major tearjerker. For me, that is.
By the time we collected the baggage, reported the missing buggy and came home, the children were extremely sleepy and tired with jetlag. But when they came home, a smile of recognition spread across their lips and their faces lit up at rediscovering all their toys, their bedrooms and their favourite things. They wanted to play with everything all at the same time, K opened all his favourite toys and within 5 minutes the living room floor looked as though it had been occupied for days. R got her kick from cutting and sticking bits of coloured paper. Home sweet home.
This morning it was lovely to wake up and have my grocery shopping delivered to my kitchen. Then I had my cleaner arrive and clean my whole house, including the inside of the fridge. The kitchen is back in action.
Our flight was great. I actually managed to watch 4 films back to back! With a 4 year old child and a 2 year old toddler this is some achievement! I saw Wrecked (mysterious and with no closure), Something Borrowed (unoriginal and predictable), Midnight in Paris (fantastic) and almost all of Beautiful Boy (not enough depth of characters) The children watched Toy Story, Rio, Barney and Wall-E. With husband.
Arrival was not so great, queues were massive, baggage was very late and the airline lost our buggy.
It was strangely comforting to come home. I am the sort of person whose moods reflect the weather and leaving the hot sun and warm beaches behind and coming home to grey skies and gloomy rain can depress me for weeks. I usually dread the transition from holiday mode to the reality of the daily grind and it can take me up to 2 weeks to reacclimatise. I think the length of the holiday makes the difference. Also the fact that R is due to start Reception next week and we are all excited about it. I am probably more nervous than her, and I can't wait to see her in her uniform, a moment which I anticipate will be a major tearjerker. For me, that is.
By the time we collected the baggage, reported the missing buggy and came home, the children were extremely sleepy and tired with jetlag. But when they came home, a smile of recognition spread across their lips and their faces lit up at rediscovering all their toys, their bedrooms and their favourite things. They wanted to play with everything all at the same time, K opened all his favourite toys and within 5 minutes the living room floor looked as though it had been occupied for days. R got her kick from cutting and sticking bits of coloured paper. Home sweet home.
This morning it was lovely to wake up and have my grocery shopping delivered to my kitchen. Then I had my cleaner arrive and clean my whole house, including the inside of the fridge. The kitchen is back in action.
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